Achieving goals with the frequency of love.

In society, there are certain character traits seen as the ultimate pathway to achieving goals. We need to be disciplined, focused and determined in order to succeed. While I think those traits are indeed very valuable in our endeavours, I feel there’s a piece missing that is rarely talked out. 

Love. 

Doing something and going for something with love. 

Some people think those who are career oriented or focused on tangible material results are superficial. They should care about other things more and to want money or success is wrong. That when they draw their last breath on this earth, they will regret not finding love with another, or simply not giving more to their relationships. 

Here’s what I think and feel with all my being. 

When you draw your last breath, any regrets you have will be toward the things you truly loved but did not act upon. Whether that be a career, relationship, opportunity, it doesn’t matter at all. So with that stance, it’s irrelevant what this regret is, or what area of life it falls into…it’s just about what was calling you that you never went toward. That essence of love. When you meditate on that feeling long enough, you feel things like passion, care, attention, strength and nurture. 

So ask yourself, what is true for you? What at this moment gives you the feeling of passion, what do you want to care for, give attention to, be strong for and nurture?

And once you feel it, don’t let anyone or anything stop you going for it. Let go of anything that does not allow this thing you love to grow. 

I actually equate this with being pregnant. 

Imagine for a minute either you have your baby growing inside you or it’s your job to protect the person who is carrying your baby. Now, everything you do matters. Every choice you make about what you spend your days doing, the kind of people you surround yourself with, your health and what you put into your body..suddenly all becomes paramount. And not in this scary, ‘I can’t handle the pressure’ way, but in a way of feeling responsibility and wanting to step up. You step up because of love.

So tell that person, they make the world better just by existing. Let yourself take a chance on something that feels like the golden ticket. Whatever it is, just let yourself feel that love. Soon enough, that love, that ‘baby’, will start showing you what it needs from you to come and manifest in this world. Make sure you listen and act on it. 

Like for many people, I can safely say there have been many changes in my life. Change of the faces I see, the jobs I’m working, even the thoughts I’m thinking. Yet through all that there’s been one thing that remained true inside for as far back as I can remember . A little light inside, sometimes the only light amidst a sea of darkness. Small or not, I knew straight away it was a real one. The light of my dreams. The dream to do something significant with my life. Something that will impact people in a positive way, make a difference and inspire the masses. Something that will keep me strong, grounded and continue to bring out my highest potential of what is possible for me to achieve in this life. 

That’s my true love right there. Nowadays, I tend to use it as a barometer for all other things in my field. I feel the energy of this love and then compare it to the energy of my relationships with others. It becomes easy to see which ones are supporting love and which are detracting. 

Try it. Think about your love and generate the feeling of it within your whole body by focusing on it. Now think about other things in your life and you’ll see clearly. What is a match and what isn’t. 

When people see me focused on my career, they mock me for chasing my dreams. When they see every small success, they ridicule my new standards. You know what I think? They have not yet found true love. The kind that makes you want be the best version of yourself every single day. And I hope they find it. I wish for us all we have that, because I know loving something makes you your best self. 

With love and light x

The trine of manifestation.

Choice. Belief. Change

Part II

It is important to become aware of your reasons behind wanting to change. When you know this, you have the conscious ability to transmute any lower energies. How? Because when you see it for what it is and you acknowledge it, you can discern its validity. Once again, question yourself. Are these reasons coming from a pure place or not? Are they your own or did you adopt them from society, media, family, peers etc? Are they covering up an unhealed wound? 

Question yourself to find the root of intention.

You transmute lower energies by realising you have the power to do so. Lower energy thoughts begin to lose their strength and hold over you, as soon as you start to question them. In questioning them you may realise they make no sense, they’re not true of you, it’s just a past fear for example. Thoughts are not as scary in the light of day compared to inconspicuous thoughts hiding in the shadows. 

Ensure your intentions are loving and not a masquerade.

Note if you are wanting to change yourself to gain something. Something meaning self worth, confidence, attractiveness, love, etc, because with this approach, it is my belief you will never truly find it. No matter what you do or how much you do, you will never truly be satisfied. You may be able to take hold of the good feeling temporarily, or even long term but it will never be enough and you’ll be stuck in a cycle of ‘finding the next thing’. What should I become now to feel better about myself? 

I am not dismissing the power of taking different actions by any means. Different actions do indeed lead to different results. But without the internal shifts, without acknowledging that to manifest the life you choose it is an internal journey first and foremost, your external actions are unsupported. 

If there is no internal shift, then the external changes are fleeting and/or unsatisfactory. It’s a hard concept for some and might appear gloomy at first sight but it actually liberates you. One does not have to spend their life chasing things because there is NOTHING  you can ever do exclusively to make yourself feel better. You are free from the cycle! Your whole motivation for going toward things you want out of life completely shifts. You no longer do it to feel better, you do it because it’s fun, because you feel called to it, because it’s interesting.

Create from within.

If you think it, you create it. That frequency is within you already and you have the capability to stand up and emanate it from your being. You entrain your cells with this frequency by staying in the thought and the emotion it creates as often as possible. The vibrational state is generated from within. It is a false belief that you must chase a condition and make it yours in order to feel a certain way. It is a conditional way of moving through life, coming from a lack perspective and in that lack, creates dependency.

You don’t feel better because of that thing outside of you you now have. You feel better because a thought shifted within, which changed the way you feel. I want you to know you always have the power do to this and when you realise nothing outside of you needs to change in order for you to feel better, you are free. 

Make the choice. Believe in yourself and believe in your actions. The changes internally and externally will astound you! 

Love and blessings dear ones x

The trine of manifestation.

Choice. Belief. Change

Part I

Food and overall diet is an example of a powerful doorway to higher dimensions. It helps you to integrate your higher aspects more consciously in your reality. By ingesting foods that are living, you infuse the body with life force and healing energy. This in turn, aids many imbalances making it easier to maintain a high vibration.

But please note, this doorway is one of many. The ‘method’ you choose to improve overall health  and integrate higher frequencies is quite irrelevant. Irrelevant in terms of effectiveness. This is because all approaches contain within, potential to yield positive results. 

It is not so much the type of action, it is the energy behind it. 

Are YOU behind your choice? Can YOU align all your energy with this chosen approach? Do YOU believe in it? That is the most important thing. 

When it comes to manifesting, the ‘work’ is to get on board with your choices. When you believe in what you’re doing you are naturally motivated. You elicit positive emotion from the experience, including the challenges and steadily cultivate a positive attitude overall. You will most likely encounter bumps and blocks along the way and that’s normal. They surface to be healed and integrated, becoming the perfect opportunity to look at your reasons for wanting to change. 

Question yourself. Are you trying to gain something you believe isn’t yours already? The concept of self worth comes into play here.  Are you reaching for an end result so you can feel better about yourself now? 

Change is inevitable. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to change. We can’t help but do this so know that in this life experience you’re going to change. In knowing this, you understand there’s no need to force it. Work with the natural inclination to change, to grow, and it will be a smoother, more enjoyable ride!

There is a belief quite prevalent among humans. ‘I must chase my dreams because it isn’t yet mine’. Know this. There are billions of things you could want out of life and you chose this. By virtue of this choice, you have become connected to its end result, its manifestation. When that choice is made, an invisible thread is created between you and that thing. Life then is geared toward catching up to the part of you that’s there already. You don’t have to ‘work for it’ in order to have it. You have it and it is in the process of manifesting from one form to another, from thought to physical manifestation. But if you don’t keep your eye on this ‘new’ ball and make the required changes, it will remain in the realm of thought, a non tangible reality. Like a plant requires light and water to grow, your choices require focus, belief and inevitably changed action to manifest. 

Most people want their choices manifested into being, so the question becomes…

Who do I need to become to transform what I have in one reality to the physical one?

In part II I will discuss how does one allow this journey of change and manifestation become one of joy and excitement!

Highly sensitive people – What’s it all about? Part II

Sometimes, highly sensitive people trend towards the idea something is wrong with them. Wrong with the way they are and the way they think. From this, there can be a tendency to isolate oneself. I believe this stems from not fully understanding and feeling positive toward their sensitivities and not feeing understood or accepted by others. Sometimes it’s easier to just be alone.

While HSP individuals do need more time alone to recharge, it doesn’t have to be at the expense of forming and maintaining close connections with others. Regardless of our sensitivity levels, we as human beings all need closeness and connections with others. I wouldn’t want that some of you out there hold back from this and all relationships have to offer, because you’re struggling to maintain a balance. If you keep encountering people or are around others regularly, who do not understand or respect your sensitivity, then you must look at your Self. More specifically, how you treat your sensitivity. Do you honour it? do you take care of your wellbeing? or do you feel it’s a nuisance? Relationships with others are the great reflector of the relationship with yourself. By focusing on developing a healthier relationship with yourself and getting to know these parts of you, it will start to shift the other relationship dynamics. You will be in a better position to express yourself to others which will allow more understanding. 

Everyone has their quirks, or things they’re working on or working with. Acknowledging you are highly sensitive and working with it is no different than someone acknowledging they have a bad knee. You make adjustments to your everyday routines to be more comfortable! It’s just the latter appears more acceptable because we can see it. It’s a physical tangible thing and whatever isn’t, is sometimes regarded as non existent. And this is where you and others need to open your minds, some a little bit more and some a lot more.

Journaling is a great way to release and record events you can reflect on later.

So while there may not be anything you or others can see, no marks on you, no physical injuries etc, what counts here is how you feel. It’s what you pick up from your surroundings and what’s left unchecked or unfiltered. Without checking in and clearing yourself regularly from whatever you pick up, it can lead to your own energy becoming clogged. Left like this for a period of time, it can start to interfere with your mental health and overall wellbeing. So making some changes, some adjustments to your life, big or small, being gentle with yourself, knowing this is your gift, that if you learn to use it properly, to listen to it, you’ll reap the rewards, are all very helpful attitudes. Utilising the things you like to do or places you like to be in can help replenish your energy. Limiting your time and attention from places, situations and people that don’t, are things you can start to do more consciously to support yourself. Make a list of these things that you already know and continue to add as you go along. In doing this, you are creating self made tools to expel unwanted energy each day and fill yourself up again with light. 

Start a journal or record yourself regularly whenever you pick up things or feel overwhelmed.

. How am I feeling right now?

. What’s happening in this situation? 

. Was there a trigger? 

. What information am I picking up and what does my sensitivity want to tell me? 

Maybe it’s that the place isn’t right, the energy of the environment or the people, it’s not compatible with yours at the moment. Maybe you need to make some changes. You can do this regarding positive emotions also. Write about or record when you feel really good and in sync with your atmosphere. That way you are collecting information about yourself and your own energetic blueprint and will be guided accordingly. This is something you need to prove to yourself. It’s not enough for me to just say it to you here. You need to show yourself you can turn things around. Your sensitivity feels bad because you’re not listening to it. Everything you’re sensing is there to help you and when you start to listen to it and act more in accordance with it, you will start to feel better and the less your sensitivity will feel like a burden.

Sometimes people just feel overwhelmed with their life and don’t know anything more about how they feel. If this is you, break it down and keep it basic. You want to gradually unravel whatever your senses are trying to communicate to you. Note down parts of the day that feel good and parts that don’t. 

. What were you doing? 

. Who were you with? 

Start with mapping this out for a few weeks and you’ll start to get a picture of what feels good and what doesn’t. Then you can start to ask why. 

. What is it about this I like? 

. What is it about this I don’t? 

If a person is out of tune with themselves, start with the basics.

Stay open and start talking to yourself more encouragingly.

It’s important you keep yourself open if this is you trying a new approach. Humans don’t  typically trust things they don’t know. They also don’t trust fully IN things that offer a result they themselves have struggled to attain. And that’s fine. Because it’s really about trusting yourself. Trusting you are capable of making good decisions, doing your best with what you’ve got, making things work for you, learning from YOUR own life experiences and developing an appreciative attitude toward yourself. Telling yourself positive things that you actually believe. ‘I’ve got this’. ‘I’m open’. ‘I’m willing to try’. You will start to trust IN the things you pick up the more you develop a relationship with it, because it will feel more familiar. The trust however, starts first within and is the original source of all trust in other.  

~ Some tips~

Take a walk and get out in nature to find your centre.

Nature is a great neutraliser for any energetic imbalances within a human. It was designed to be an energy balancer for the planet as a whole. Embrace and utilise it. Sit in a park and breath it in. Go for more walks. The same goes with physical exercise. Find a sport you like or are open to and get your heart pumping!

Find a guided meditation online or simply close your eyes and focus on the breath.

Meditation helps release resistance to negative thoughts. Meditate and state to yourself out loud or internally that you are ready to open up to what your sensitivity is communicating to you. ‘I am open to listening’, ‘I am open to sensing’. You might then experience vivid dreams, hear a voice, word or phrase in your mind after that. Listen to it, follow it. The universe hears you and is communicating back!

You can wear crystals as jewellery or simply keep them in your home to entrain with their frequency.

Crystals help people entrain with the frequency it emanates. Choose one that vibrates on the subject you’re working with. (See the link below). 

Here are some more –

. Stretching and breathing into the body. 

. Being around or in water. 

. Open spaces. 

. Creative activities – whatever gets that juice flowing and makes you feel good

. Be more selective in the people you spend your time with

Go to ‘Channeling’ and read ‘The neutral zone’ for more explanations on neutralising energy. 

-Links for further info – 

. https://hsperson.com 

. https://sensitivethemovie.com

. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi4JOlMSWjo

. https://www.ethanlazzerini.com/crystals-for-empaths-highly-sensitive-people/

For a limited time only, I will be offering a private one to one coaching session. Free of charge. Go to ‘Contact’ on the website or reach out on social media to further enquire about this offer.

Be well all you sensitive people out there and remember you are not alone! 

Get in touch <3

Highly sensitive people ~ What’s it all about?

This 2 part blog is dedicated to Liz <3

Submit your blog requests to learn more about all things spirituality and wellness related!

Go to ‘contact page’ on this website or reach out on social media! Happy reading 🙂

~

Highly sensitive people. They live among us. They walk among us. Often met externally with the phrase ‘you’re too sensitive’ paired internally with ‘I can’t cope in this world’ these individuals are quite a misunderstood community. I hope that in reading this, some myths can be dispelled about the need for these people to change. That any advice to ‘toughen up’ is discarded and any attempts to remove their intrinsic gifts halted. 

In actuality, it’s time for all of us on this planet to start embracing who we are. Loving what makes you you. It’s time to let our freak flag fly, accept and love those idiosyncrasies and honour ourselves as souls here to radiate our own unique light.

My intentions for this blog is to explain some of the common traits I’ve observed in HSP individuals, shared perspectives and how to shift the negative ones to positive. I hope this information will assist those out there who themselves feel highly sensitive or engage closely with one who is. 

HSP – Sometimes the world feels too much because you’re absorbing everything.

Highly sensitive individuals feel everything and take everything in from their environment. They have a strong sense of what’s going on around them, the subtleties of human interactions are very obvious as well as other energy exchanges. Simply put, they pick up more information than the average person. They are deeply sensitive to the attitudes of others. For this reason, they can struggle just walking down the street during rush hour when everyone is stressed out or sitting near a group of people in low vibrational states.

Some other traits include –

. Feeling what others feel, positive and negative

. Assessing individual and collective energy levels almost instantaneously

. Difficulty in large crowds – headaches, overwhelm, frazzled 

. Spot liars and disingenuous attitudes

. Psychic abilities/ extra sensory perception

. Need extra time alone to recharge batteries

. Easily drained from your environments and/or people

Firstly, working towards having a better understanding and acceptance of yourself will enable you to utilise the gifts you have within. Sensitive souls out there are over stimulated and therefore do not feel in control of themselves. They run the risk of staying in a cycle of endless struggle and resistance to the way they are. They tend to isolate themselves more often because quite frankly people and busy environments are too much. But all of this ‘pushing away’ of what is and the attitude of non acceptance keeps you stuck. Not listening to your intuition keeps you stuck. It fuels the fire of whatever negative attitude you hold about your sensitivities and continues to re-create the struggle. A shift in your own attitude toward yourself and all the information you ‘pick up’ is vital to be more at peace on a daily basis.

What would be the benefits of being highly sensitive? 

HSP individuals tend to observe more in social settings.

Well, overall perception is higher. Even in the realms of extra sensory perception. For example, not just hearing with the physical ears someones words, but hearing the person’s thoughts, hearing their spirit guides. Not just seeing the person’s physical structure, but seeing their auric field, images or symbols around them. For some individuals, this is the norm. Someone who picks up generally on what’s almost undetectable by others, would have the advantage of having more understanding and knowledge in any given situation. And knowledge is power. But knowledge without practical application is useless. It is up to the individual to use and trust what they’re sensing and start to see this sensitivity as a guiding force in their life. Not just to improve their own life, but to inspire others too.

What have your spidey senses been telling you? Is there a person in your life that’s secretly struggling? Is your current job not the right fit for you? Whatever it is, now is the time to listen!

In part II, I will discuss some practices that can improve your interactions with others while embracing your sensitivity.

You needn’t expect the whole world, society or the people around you to understand this sensitivity. It’s up to you how you design your life and I recommend you start to do so in a way that embraces and respects this intrinsic quality. Why? Because everything starts with you. Remember, everything in your life comes from within. When you improve your mindset, your attitude, your feelings toward your sensitivity, it creates an energy field that expands outside of yourself. This will influence the circumstances and the people you draw in, more to your liking.

If you are highly sensitive, know this. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. We live on a planet that does not yet mainstream the idea of energy, the non physical realm and that’s okay. The vast workings of our universe reveal itself on its own accord and so do your own gifts and purpose 🙂

Take care everyone!

For more insights, exercises and tips for high sensitivity, start tuned to part II of this blog coming next week!

The world is our thoughts.

Tune into your emotions throughout the day to see where your thoughts lie.

I want you all reading this, to thrive and rise to your greatest selves. This occurs when you start allowing a healthy flow of energy in and out of your being. And by energy I mean emotions. Derived from our thoughts and beliefs about all things including ourselves, this is essentially how our world is shaped. Our internal world and our external world. One could then say, there’s no difference between the two, they mirror one another. Our beliefs about all things are lenses we put on everyday and it is wise to regularly check those lenses. Check whether they make you feel good, add to your life, or not. 

Our thoughts create the emotions we feel. We can often tell whether what we’re feeling feels good or not. Though sometimes, emotions can feel more complex than that and so it’s good to think of emotions more so on a scale with ‘very positive’ and ‘very negative’ at each end. It takes a little practise but as you sit more with your emotions you start to discern whereabouts they fall on this scale. From there, you can ascertain whether your thoughts on a daily basis, are more positive or negative. 

The chronic thoughts (wherever they fall on the scale) make up our beliefs because they are the thoughts we think most. They have the most momentum and energy attached to them and I’m sure we’ve experienced things that confirmed those thoughts to be ‘true’. This results in those thoughts becoming ingrained beliefs. It’s a cycle as you can probably tell. We think a thought, we think it again and again and again. Something happens that confirms it. We now ‘know’ it’s true. We believe it. It causes us to think it more and so we create it more. This is good if you’re thinking thoughts that add to your life but not so good when it causes you to excessively feel bad.

What’s important to know is that everything stems from a thought. And you do have control over the thoughts you think. A lot of people don’t know that or believe that because they aren’t practised in the art of thinking more deliberately.

Start replacing the unhelpful thoughts with empowering ones.

If your lenses do not make you feel good or add to your life in any way, perhaps it is time to give them a clean. It might be time to replace them with more appropriate feel good ones. Good working lenses do not mean that there aren’t challenges in your life, or that you never see or experience things you do not like. Life is filled with diversity and we’re always going to be challenged and faced with things that cause us to question. However, there is a big difference in overall perception, between one pair of lenses fundamentally built on the belief ‘I love and care about myself’ and another pair fundamentally built on the belief ‘I hate myself and don’t care what happens to me’. Two individuals could be experiencing the same circumstance and yet because of these different beliefs, they address, decide and learn completely different things. These two individuals could essentially create different outcomes for themselves!

Our ability to move through challenges in life and how we move through them is based upon our thoughts and beliefs. How you feel, i.e the emotions that arise from it all, exist to serve you as a guide of the etheric sort. 

Some questions to consider.

What are your fundamental beliefs about yourself? How do you think they shape your life experiences? Do you love yourself? Maybe you don’t love, but you care so you’re on your way. 

Thinking loving thoughts about yourself will cause a ripple effect of love toward others and the world at large.

Maybe you’re not sure because you don’t take enough time to tune in with the self. Maybe you hate yourself. Maybe you don’t like yourself. I will be writing about this particular topic soon in more detail, to help those of you who are not sure about your beliefs, and offer guidance on how to change any unhelpful ones. For now, you are where you are and as I say, that’s okay.

Take the time to consider the origins of your discomfort.

When you have negative emotions about a situation, check your thoughts. You might have some preconceived beliefs and judgements about it that are unhelpful. In that case, your beliefs and judgements might be disabling you from seeing things clearly. Therefore, you may not have a complete or accurate understanding of the events. 

In another case, let’s say you are aware of your thoughts and beliefs. You are releasing judgements that come to your awareness and thinking more positively. You might then be encountering a situation, where it’s not about changing perceptions you have. It can be the time to accept a situation for what it is. Acknowledge that it does not feel right for you and choose something else that does. 

To sum this up. You want your lenses designed in a way that help you move through or out of bad feeling situations, with as much ease as possible. Your emotions let you know something’s up. Something has to change. Either your lenses or your involvement. That’s it. It’s there to help you, always.

How to have better relationships.

People often engage in destructive behaviours, consciously. There’s a lack of harmony in our relationships and we know we’re not helping. So we try to work on things, but it doesn’t get better. Now, not only are these relationships suffering, but internally we are in a state of disarray.

Conflicted wants within the self create disharmony in our relationships.

How can we help ourselves feel better and know what we want?

I want to bring to your attention some powerful therapeutic tools. Doing these myself, I’ve found them to be highly effective in restoring my own equilibrium. My hopes are that you will utilise these when you see fit. I believe if you do, it will show you the way. YOUR way. 

Free writing and free speaking is tremendously useful in getting things off your chest and understanding what you truly want. When you have that, you’re more capable of making decisions about your life and the direction of it. Let’s define. 

Free writing Writing out freely all your thoughts, feelings and perspectives. Keep a notebook for this or have paper handy.

Free speaking Speaking out freely all your thoughts, feelings and perspectives. Record yourself on your phone or other recording device. 

When we keep things in, our overall health and wellness is impacted and these states are not conducive to healthy relationships. What can you give when you’re running on empty? How can you be truly good to others when you aren’t to yourself? Relationship dilemmas leave a person conflicted, because there are opposing aspects of the psyche. One part wants this and the other wants that. It’s hard to know what the right thing is because we feel so split.

Don’t fight it. Let yourself split and get to know these different parts of you

Write it and get it out. Gather your thoughts.
Write it and get it out. Gather yourself.

Think of free writing and free speaking as word vomit, which will create a mind map to your truth. It is a potent way of releasing energy out of your system. And know, whatever you ‘vomit’ it most likely isn’t going to be pretty. However, like vomiting, you’ll feel better afterward. Feel free to contradict yourself and be the ultimate hypocrite!  You will likely swear a lot. Give yourself permission to say the things you’ve always wanted to plus more, it’s all good. What is unconscious is becoming conscious. And don’t worry, no one has to see it. You can always destroy/delete it later on if you feel so inclined, or just put it somewhere safe. This is for you. This isn’t about anyone or anything else other than you getting to know you.

Here are some writing templates to start you off with, if you’d like a prompt –

. Right now, I just feel…..

. I can’t believe that…

. Fuuuccckkkkkkk…

. I’m so fucking mad right now i could…

. (Write/speak out the events, this will encourage your feelings toward it to trickle into the content)

If you’re struggling with what to say or write, you’re probably thinking too much. Just let out a big ‘argahhhhhhhhhhh’ to unwind. Make whatever sounds let you feel that release. Find a quiet cosy space where you won’t disturb others and go for it.

Speak it out and get it out.
This will release your frustration.

This practice assists you in forging your own perspective. Knowing what you want, how you feel and what you think. Only then, do you have something substantial and real to offer others. 

What creates resistance to this kind of practice is that we’re often in a rush to ‘fix things’. We don’t give ourselves enough time to be in ambivalence because it is typically not a valued state. The bottom line is, you cannot force a response out of another. It’s not the way to authentically get what you want. Let patience teach you something valuable about yourself and focus on taking care of you. In doing that, you’ll arrive at a point where you unequivocally know what you need.

Forcing an answer or decision out of yourself is no better. If you don’t feel at peace with what you’re offering the other, then you have bypassed your heart. The mind trends toward what ‘makes sense’ and uses logic to justify its moves. But deep down you still feel awful about it. If something doesn’t feel right, it means something isn’t.

When you allow yourself to be in ambivalence, to feel it, to express it, the light of clarity starts peeking through. It naturally arises when you allow whatever state you’re in. It’s hard to know how you truly feel  and want you really want, when you’re in the middle of a fight or reeling in frustration post fight.  So stop. Stop trying to figure out how to ‘fix things’. Let yourself be confused. Let yourself be upset .That’s all you’ve got in the moment and it’s okay. It’s enough.